so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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