god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
