Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
