"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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