is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
