just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
