I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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