I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
