I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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