somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize