She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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