you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
