He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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