I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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