would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
