help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
