So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
