He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
His nipple licking is glorious
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