my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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