: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
