I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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