Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
