Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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