Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
