I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
