the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
