PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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