Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
