OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
