i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
