FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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