Christians are straight up FREAKS
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
