Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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