I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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