pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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