video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Drunk is not a location!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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