I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
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Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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