Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
