I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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