After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
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My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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