OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
