I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
