Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's like a pop up book from hell.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
