Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
