he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
