In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.