Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.