My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
