weddingsv make me drug and hornr
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can't turn off my feet"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.