I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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