You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
