Where is the hickey?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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