dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
