My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
