I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
