You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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