Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
