girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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