so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
