Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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