I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
