I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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