I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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