This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
