no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
