I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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