STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
