Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
