remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I touched a dick in church today
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